Radioactive Penis and Balls? Glowing Testicles? What the F*** is Wrong? Plz help?

About 5 years ago and since, i noticed that my testicles glow in the dark. They only glow on certain occasions though, which are when im around my boyfreind, when its completely dark, and when i hear running water. My last boyfriend who i had anal sex with died because of it. Before we had the rigorous Cowboy Butt sex he was afraid that my dong was radioactive. I dont know why this is happening. All i do with my dick now is take X-Rays of it. I show them off in public. People think i am creepy. Anyways, back to the glowing testes. The right one glows almost a yellow oarnge color and the leftone glows purpleish. And for some reason my pubic hairs are tan? I am deeply offended that my boyfriend wont have vigorous, ruthless Cowboy Buttsex with me. I am thinking its due to my Radioactive Dick? anyways im considering a sex change or getting neutered. In another sense its cool having glowing testes. Plz help. I dont want to kill my current boyfriend with my demonic testicles.